Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me
Goddddddd!!!!
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me
"Given Up - Linkin Park"
i failed in my attempt. im not surprised, im juz not equipped to be able to pit myself against someone in her own territory. for the record, u weren't the only one losing sleep over this. i'll stay... but the question again is for how long? my heart is no longer there. i know not who i can trust anymore. friends or foe, i cant differentiate anymore. best is i juz keep really quiet and hope this nagging problem goes away. well... will it ever?
Tuesday, 5 February 2008
no more drama.. i am a simpleton.
So tired, tired of all this drama
You go your way and I'll go my way
I need to be free
I'm so tired, tired, tired from all this drama
Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
'Cos I can guarantee
That I'll be fine
No more pain
No more pain
No more drama in my life
No one's gonna make me hurt again
Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
But maybe I like the stress
'Cos I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't wanna cry no more
No more pain, no more pain
No more games
Messin' with my mind
No more drama in my life
No one's gonna make me hurt again, no more
No more tears, I'm tired of crying every night
No more fears, I really don't wanna fight
No more drama in my life
I don't ever wanna hurt again
Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind
Oh, It feels so good
When you let go of all the drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the games
Free from all the pain
Free from all the stress
To find your happiness
I don't know
Only God knows where the story ends for me
But I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose
Whether we win or lose
And I choose to win
(No more pain, no more pain, tired of hurting
(No more games)
Tired of your playin' games with my mind
No more drama in my life
No more, no more, no more
No more, no more, no more
No more tears, no more crying every night
No more waking me up in the morning with your disturbing phone calls
Leave me alone, go ahead
(No more pain) No more, I'm tired
No more games, I'm tired, I'm so tired
(No drama) No more, no more
(No more in my life)
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
(No more drama)
I'm tired of all the drama
(No more drama)
Go 'head, go 'head
(No more drama)
Your demons gettin' out of my face
Goin' out my life
(No more drama)
I'm about to lose my mind
Lord help me, help me sing
No more drama
Oh help me sing
I need a piece of mind
A piece of mind, piece of mind
Well, I need
I need to know that you agree
Oh no, oh no
No more, no more, no more drama
No more drama in my, in my life
So tired, I'm so tired
So tired, tired of all this drama
Go ahead with all your drama
"No More Drama - Mary J. Blige"
i think throughout my whole working life, however short it may be, today has been by far the most dramatic day. i dont understand why ppl muz behave the way they do? defensive, aggresive and everyone seems to have a hidden agenda. am i the only simple person left on this planet? am i really wrong to wanna give up, pack up and leave? i mean how fun is it having to feel like a headless chicken walking around in a live firing range, not knowing when i'll be shot down. hello people, im only here to earn a decent living, and mind u im not being paid big bucks for me to tolerate the immense nonsense. why muz everyone trample on each other? why cant we work together, help each other and juz fucking get things done so we can all call it a day? i dont wanna be caught amidst any tussles over money or power, i honestly dont give a fucking damn abt any of that. seriously... u people really need to get a life. concentrate on other things that gives u a better quality lifestyle. whatever that may be.. for now, please fucking leave me alone!
You go your way and I'll go my way
I need to be free
I'm so tired, tired, tired from all this drama
Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
'Cos I can guarantee
That I'll be fine
No more pain
No more pain
No more drama in my life
No one's gonna make me hurt again
Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
But maybe I like the stress
'Cos I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't wanna cry no more
No more pain, no more pain
No more games
Messin' with my mind
No more drama in my life
No one's gonna make me hurt again, no more
No more tears, I'm tired of crying every night
No more fears, I really don't wanna fight
No more drama in my life
I don't ever wanna hurt again
Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind
Oh, It feels so good
When you let go of all the drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the games
Free from all the pain
Free from all the stress
To find your happiness
I don't know
Only God knows where the story ends for me
But I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose
Whether we win or lose
And I choose to win
(No more pain, no more pain, tired of hurting
(No more games)
Tired of your playin' games with my mind
No more drama in my life
No more, no more, no more
No more, no more, no more
No more tears, no more crying every night
No more waking me up in the morning with your disturbing phone calls
Leave me alone, go ahead
(No more pain) No more, I'm tired
No more games, I'm tired, I'm so tired
(No drama) No more, no more
(No more in my life)
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more
(No more drama)
I'm tired of all the drama
(No more drama)
Go 'head, go 'head
(No more drama)
Your demons gettin' out of my face
Goin' out my life
(No more drama)
I'm about to lose my mind
Lord help me, help me sing
No more drama
Oh help me sing
I need a piece of mind
A piece of mind, piece of mind
Well, I need
I need to know that you agree
Oh no, oh no
No more, no more, no more drama
No more drama in my, in my life
So tired, I'm so tired
So tired, tired of all this drama
Go ahead with all your drama
"No More Drama - Mary J. Blige"
i think throughout my whole working life, however short it may be, today has been by far the most dramatic day. i dont understand why ppl muz behave the way they do? defensive, aggresive and everyone seems to have a hidden agenda. am i the only simple person left on this planet? am i really wrong to wanna give up, pack up and leave? i mean how fun is it having to feel like a headless chicken walking around in a live firing range, not knowing when i'll be shot down. hello people, im only here to earn a decent living, and mind u im not being paid big bucks for me to tolerate the immense nonsense. why muz everyone trample on each other? why cant we work together, help each other and juz fucking get things done so we can all call it a day? i dont wanna be caught amidst any tussles over money or power, i honestly dont give a fucking damn abt any of that. seriously... u people really need to get a life. concentrate on other things that gives u a better quality lifestyle. whatever that may be.. for now, please fucking leave me alone!
Monday, 4 February 2008
pre-cny gathering..
had a mini get-together at a friend's place today. it was fun. supposed to be a lunch thingy but it dragged on to dinner and watching dvds till midnight. no complains whatsoever cuz it was good company, altho the last part of watching the sex in the city dvds evolved into trying-to-stay-awake campaign. poor chums. haha. thanks for dyeing my hair. now i need to be very conscious of not sitting under the lights or it'd be too obvious?! -grumbles- :P
anyways, moving along.. while chattin with a friend a certain topic arosed. don't really know how to put into words but in short its abt how a certain individual has started to make me feel repulsive and disgusted towards the actions and behaviour. i have examples to testify y im feeling this way. its not juz baseless allegations. and i have to be very diplomatic and tactful abt this cuz who knows if that individual will ever chance upon my blog? in any case i shall leave it as it is and not state the examples. my only advice if you ever get to see this and by some weird chance u think i might juz be referring to u... yes, u. pls get a fucking life of ur own... wake up, its time to move on.....
1) the world DOES NOT revolve around u.
2) everything is NOT juz about u.
3) DONT conveniently start blaming someone when something bad happens, or something against ur liking happens.
4) DO NOT treat another person as ur spare, ppl are not there for u to fall back on.
5) please brush up on ur english, think u really need to improve ur vocabulary. we're finding it hard to understand u. and no, we're not abt to start improving our mandarin for ur sake.
alrights.. i shall be a meanie no further. if u really think im referring to u, try comforting urself. 'im sure ah fun is not referring to me' repeat that 10 times and u'll be fine. i personally assure that.
peace out.
anyways, moving along.. while chattin with a friend a certain topic arosed. don't really know how to put into words but in short its abt how a certain individual has started to make me feel repulsive and disgusted towards the actions and behaviour. i have examples to testify y im feeling this way. its not juz baseless allegations. and i have to be very diplomatic and tactful abt this cuz who knows if that individual will ever chance upon my blog? in any case i shall leave it as it is and not state the examples. my only advice if you ever get to see this and by some weird chance u think i might juz be referring to u... yes, u. pls get a fucking life of ur own... wake up, its time to move on.....
1) the world DOES NOT revolve around u.
2) everything is NOT juz about u.
3) DONT conveniently start blaming someone when something bad happens, or something against ur liking happens.
4) DO NOT treat another person as ur spare, ppl are not there for u to fall back on.
5) please brush up on ur english, think u really need to improve ur vocabulary. we're finding it hard to understand u. and no, we're not abt to start improving our mandarin for ur sake.
alrights.. i shall be a meanie no further. if u really think im referring to u, try comforting urself. 'im sure ah fun is not referring to me' repeat that 10 times and u'll be fine. i personally assure that.
peace out.
Wednesday, 30 January 2008
rage against the machine.. or against the man?
Killing in the name of!
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Well now you do what they told ya
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Killing in the name of
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya!
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Come on!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Motherfucker!
"Killing in the Name of - Rage Against the Machine"
as u all can see i have alot of anger in my system.. pardon me and the song lyrics i've posted above. i juz dont understand how such a person can exist in this world??! i know your english is not very good but im sure u'll have heard of this world called 'ashamed'? yes, pls be very ashamed of urself. i despise u! *spits* if u think u're doing alot of work think again... think VERY HARD. yes u may stay late at times but issit productive? NO! i wash my hands off u.. its high time u wake up ur idea cuz ur lil shock absorber here is leaving... very soon. may all the shit befall on u and that u be immensely covered in it.
*Disclaimer: I AM NOT ANTI-CHRIST!*
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Well now you do what they told ya
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Some of those that were forces are the same that bore crosses
Killing in the name of
And now you do what they told ya
And now you do what they told ya, now you're under control
And now you do what they told ya!
Those who died are justified, for wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
You justify those that died by wearing the badge, they're the chosen whites
Come on!
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
Motherfucker!
"Killing in the Name of - Rage Against the Machine"
as u all can see i have alot of anger in my system.. pardon me and the song lyrics i've posted above. i juz dont understand how such a person can exist in this world??! i know your english is not very good but im sure u'll have heard of this world called 'ashamed'? yes, pls be very ashamed of urself. i despise u! *spits* if u think u're doing alot of work think again... think VERY HARD. yes u may stay late at times but issit productive? NO! i wash my hands off u.. its high time u wake up ur idea cuz ur lil shock absorber here is leaving... very soon. may all the shit befall on u and that u be immensely covered in it.
*Disclaimer: I AM NOT ANTI-CHRIST!*
Wednesday, 23 January 2008
Muse - Time is Running out
how appropriate... dedicated to the one biggest a**hole around me..
I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created
You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction
You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out (more like YOUR time is running out, oh wad difference does it make to YOU anyway? YOU don't ever do anything in a timely manner! NO F*CKING SENSE OF URGENCY!!!)
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted
Now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Oh
You will suck the life out of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Oh
"Time is Running out - Muse"
I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created
You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction
You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out (more like YOUR time is running out, oh wad difference does it make to YOU anyway? YOU don't ever do anything in a timely manner! NO F*CKING SENSE OF URGENCY!!!)
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted
Now that you know I'm trapped sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation
You will squeeze the life out of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Oh
You will suck the life out of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Oh
"Time is Running out - Muse"
Sunday, 20 January 2008
first trip of 2008..
i was thinking how fortunate it was that my first trip overseas for 2008 will be paid for by the company. air tix and accommodation all paid for cept for the 1st few nights which was on pax account but thats fine at least i saved on the air tix.
oh well i guess everything comes with a price. the course i went for was really painful. 3.5 days of intensive gruelling classes. had tough role plays, questions thrown all around (in your face kind) and worse of all a written test at the end of it all. im still worried now that i fail... i'd be the first one to go down in history that failed this test!! *crossing my fingers* dunno when the results will be out tho but i think its sometime this week.
i didnt really take much pictures, im sure u all know im not the kind that fancies taking pics so i didnt even bring a cammy along. all these lousy pics were taken with my trusty ol phone.
we stayed at conrad bkk for the first 2 nights-fri & sat and sucha coincidence that mich (our fav sec to dosm was there too!) we went ard to a couple of places tog. mich and her hubby brought us to some good food places. woohoo. and we went to chatuchak tog on sat. it seems to be operatin on a smaller scale tho. i didnt remember it to have so few stalls? or maybe we were walkin ard in circles? oh wells... u muz know that i was with 2 gurls where i constantly had to look out for them. 1 walks on alone, fast-paced without checkin on where the rest of us are, the other is slow-paced and tends to be abit blur. *rolls eyes* but they're really nice girls. got to know them much better on this trip. i mean we dont talk much in the office and they kinda dont regard me in their group due to some reasons which i know of. ahhh work relationships are always very tacky and u know wad i dont really care, totally not bothered. dont plan to stick ard for long anyways.
our nice corner (slightly bigger) room at conrad bkk
checked out of conrad bkk on sunday to head over to hilton millenium bkk where the course was being held at. kinda missed conrad bkk cuz the location's darn good. near shoppin areas and cab fares were like abt 50 baht. moved to hilton where its out of the way near the chao phraya river but there are alot of nice hotels ard that area, mandarin oriental/marriott/sheraton/peninsula/shang.. mostly tapping on holiday-makers. i think they isolated us to that hotel so that we wont party so much and end up sleepin in class. well even tho we didnt party i still had difficulty staying awake in class... being me, its understandable. haha.
i have no idea wad jean was trying to do? haha
our staple form of transport while staying at hilton.
alrights thats abt all the pics i have.. if jean and joey ever forwards me anymore pics i'll post them up again...
toodles~
oh well i guess everything comes with a price. the course i went for was really painful. 3.5 days of intensive gruelling classes. had tough role plays, questions thrown all around (in your face kind) and worse of all a written test at the end of it all. im still worried now that i fail... i'd be the first one to go down in history that failed this test!! *crossing my fingers* dunno when the results will be out tho but i think its sometime this week.
i didnt really take much pictures, im sure u all know im not the kind that fancies taking pics so i didnt even bring a cammy along. all these lousy pics were taken with my trusty ol phone.
we stayed at conrad bkk for the first 2 nights-fri & sat and sucha coincidence that mich (our fav sec to dosm was there too!) we went ard to a couple of places tog. mich and her hubby brought us to some good food places. woohoo. and we went to chatuchak tog on sat. it seems to be operatin on a smaller scale tho. i didnt remember it to have so few stalls? or maybe we were walkin ard in circles? oh wells... u muz know that i was with 2 gurls where i constantly had to look out for them. 1 walks on alone, fast-paced without checkin on where the rest of us are, the other is slow-paced and tends to be abit blur. *rolls eyes* but they're really nice girls. got to know them much better on this trip. i mean we dont talk much in the office and they kinda dont regard me in their group due to some reasons which i know of. ahhh work relationships are always very tacky and u know wad i dont really care, totally not bothered. dont plan to stick ard for long anyways.
our nice corner (slightly bigger) room at conrad bkk
checked out of conrad bkk on sunday to head over to hilton millenium bkk where the course was being held at. kinda missed conrad bkk cuz the location's darn good. near shoppin areas and cab fares were like abt 50 baht. moved to hilton where its out of the way near the chao phraya river but there are alot of nice hotels ard that area, mandarin oriental/marriott/sheraton/peninsula/shang.. mostly tapping on holiday-makers. i think they isolated us to that hotel so that we wont party so much and end up sleepin in class. well even tho we didnt party i still had difficulty staying awake in class... being me, its understandable. haha.
i have no idea wad jean was trying to do? haha
our staple form of transport while staying at hilton. 
alrights thats abt all the pics i have.. if jean and joey ever forwards me anymore pics i'll post them up again...
toodles~
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
Sleepy Saturday & Sabbath Sunday..
slept in on sat. logged on after i woke up, realise that the only time and strength i have to log on are mostly on weekends. damn, how i miss those days when i was on leave. not having a worry in the world, except maybe what to eat for lunch/dinner, whats there to watch on telly and whats there to blog about? lol. so anyways the plan was to go to wala's (like wads new) but didnt feel like eating chic wings and meatballs for dinner so we headed to the hawker ctr next door for dinner before proceeding to wala's for our usual dosage of beer. shirlyn and the unxpected rocked hard as i fought hard to contain my excitement. lol. oh and chums decided to come by with taxidoor cuz she missed the chic wings but she refused to join me upstairs. dont understand why she doesnt like shirlyn, she's so damn cute la! and besides the chinese has this saying 'ai wu ji wu'? u're supposed to try and like the stuff i like? hahahahahahaaaaa...
skipped church on sun cuz i was supposed to meet liz for brunch but we both ended up waking up at 2+ so brunch was kinda out then we moved it to dinner instead. and then i told mummy i cldnt go church cuz i was going for brunch and ended up when she came back from church i was still in bed. oops :P so liza had to go back to the hotel to finish some work. workaholic *rolls eyes* i really have something against ppl who work too hard nowadays. not that im jealous of them but i feel wads the point? are they appreciated? NO! if u do well at work thats wads expected of u, if u dont do well then they screw u. so fuck it la! then cuz liz was already in the hotel of cuz she psychoed me to dine at the hotel so she didnt have to waste time travelling ard and me being a no brainer of cuz agreed. ha. so we dined at cherry garden. i muz say the food and presentation beats GP hands down. had a 6-course dinner, thank goodness i didnt have to pay for it! but then no matter how good the food was it was ruined by a 'passer-by'. i was like rolling my eyes to high heavens when i saw her, of all ppl! my ex boss.. one that i totally detest! eerrrrggghhhh major turn-off! *rolls eyes* ok pls enjoy the pics i took. ENJOY cuz i was made to feel like a fricking dumb tourist clicking away with my camera phone in a rather quiet and empty restaurant. haha
1st course - soft shell crab with watermelon slices
3rd course - some black pepper beef thingy (2nd course was sharks fins soup boiled with shark catilege)
4th course - sea perched wrapped in tofu skin and deep fried (this was really good! and coming from a non-fish fan, u really need to trust me on this. juicy on the inside and very crispy on the outside.)
5th course - fried rice with abalone and mushrooms (woohoo such extravagance, abalone!)
6th/last course - DESSERT! mango sago with lime sorbet. (its so cool it came with like dried ice underneath and i thought it looked rather fascinating)
okok so much for food and so much for me trying to be on a diet. haha. shanice came to meet us for drink after dinner so we proceeded to axis bar for drinks. had a hoe and a orangetini. did some catching up cuz i havent met shanice for longest time, another one who joined SQ. whereas for liz she's signed a lifetime bond with MO, juz like how u sell your soul to the demons. think the description is apt! dont u think so?
the flyer, the dreamer and the soul-less. haha
orites, time for bed.. i foresee another tough day ahead at work and u know wad? it doesnt take alot to foresee that! dammitz dammitz dammitz dammitz dammitz dammitz!
skipped church on sun cuz i was supposed to meet liz for brunch but we both ended up waking up at 2+ so brunch was kinda out then we moved it to dinner instead. and then i told mummy i cldnt go church cuz i was going for brunch and ended up when she came back from church i was still in bed. oops :P so liza had to go back to the hotel to finish some work. workaholic *rolls eyes* i really have something against ppl who work too hard nowadays. not that im jealous of them but i feel wads the point? are they appreciated? NO! if u do well at work thats wads expected of u, if u dont do well then they screw u. so fuck it la! then cuz liz was already in the hotel of cuz she psychoed me to dine at the hotel so she didnt have to waste time travelling ard and me being a no brainer of cuz agreed. ha. so we dined at cherry garden. i muz say the food and presentation beats GP hands down. had a 6-course dinner, thank goodness i didnt have to pay for it! but then no matter how good the food was it was ruined by a 'passer-by'. i was like rolling my eyes to high heavens when i saw her, of all ppl! my ex boss.. one that i totally detest! eerrrrggghhhh major turn-off! *rolls eyes* ok pls enjoy the pics i took. ENJOY cuz i was made to feel like a fricking dumb tourist clicking away with my camera phone in a rather quiet and empty restaurant. haha
1st course - soft shell crab with watermelon slices
3rd course - some black pepper beef thingy (2nd course was sharks fins soup boiled with shark catilege)
4th course - sea perched wrapped in tofu skin and deep fried (this was really good! and coming from a non-fish fan, u really need to trust me on this. juicy on the inside and very crispy on the outside.)
5th course - fried rice with abalone and mushrooms (woohoo such extravagance, abalone!)
6th/last course - DESSERT! mango sago with lime sorbet. (its so cool it came with like dried ice underneath and i thought it looked rather fascinating)okok so much for food and so much for me trying to be on a diet. haha. shanice came to meet us for drink after dinner so we proceeded to axis bar for drinks. had a hoe and a orangetini. did some catching up cuz i havent met shanice for longest time, another one who joined SQ. whereas for liz she's signed a lifetime bond with MO, juz like how u sell your soul to the demons. think the description is apt! dont u think so?
the flyer, the dreamer and the soul-less. haha
orites, time for bed.. i foresee another tough day ahead at work and u know wad? it doesnt take alot to foresee that! dammitz dammitz dammitz dammitz dammitz dammitz!
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