these couple of wks has been very trying on me. its juz like wad the title says.. my personal life is not heading anywhere and im really very tired. i've said enuf when it comes to affairs of the heart, to begin with i was never the kind to be very vocal on such things. i've explained myself that i've come to a point that i dun wish to explain anymore. juz take it the way u think it goes. its not that i love u no more but i've lost the energy to carry on. if its like the way u say it.. u dunno how to trust me anymore and i cant give u any form of security, even if u continue on with me i really dunno how to earn back that trust on how to make u feel more secure. now u may say that i cant even be bothered to defend myself but a relationship is never about defending's oneself?
im only human.. there are many things that are not within my will or power and as helpless as u feel, thats the way i feel too. i wld love to be like u juz to seek the simple pleasures in life but u'd come to realise when u're my age that life is not as simple as it seems. wad i seek in life is unfortunately something that u cannot decipher as of now. u ask me if i wanna salvage this relationship and all i can do is only keep mum to that while u tell me u cant be the only party that works towards that. my question now is so what if we salvage this now when i foresee it reoccuring in time to come? i dont wanna be put thru this again.. its a cycle i wanna break. can u try to understand? i've love to put in it a nicer way but somehow when it comes to such things they hardly ever turn out nice... im sorry it had to turn out this way too. im hurting as much as u...........................................
