i don't really fancy jogging..

so gf was telling me she planned to go jogging.. and taxidoor was like trying to plan bring her to west coast to jog? like huh i cant imagine... u mean he actually planned to drive there and job and drive home? sounds weird to me.. why can't u juz jog in the vicinity? petrol is not cheap! but anyhows i juz kept quiet... didnt wanna get myself into taxidoor's bad books. wont do me any good. heehee

so anyways after hearing all that talk how can u not get inspired to go for a jog yourself? so i got home grabbed some bread to munch on cuz i was STARVING and changed into my joggin attire... off i went together with my mp3 player to keep me entertained. so i didnt know where to head towards... i've abt tried every possible route around my area so my legs juz brought me towards ghim moh and i didnt wanna contest where my legs wanted to go cuz i needed it to bring me back home. was jogging then i suddenly remembered i dont like to jog. like yucks. its like the most boring exercise ever. its even worse to be jogging on a treadmill. gosh. can never figure out how come ppl enjoy jogging... yes i know ppl who actually REALLY do enjoy it. eeeeeeeks freeeeeeeeeaks! oh btw after i got back from my jog i decided to text gf and ask her if she brokea leg or something but ended up she didnt go jogging at all.. *rolls eyes to high heavens* but i saw that coming la... lol

now i feel bad for leaving my fellow girl in the office alone to fend for herself. im sorry but i really didnt feel like staying back in the office today. in fact i dont feel like it everyday but im being forced to cuz of the amount of work we have and no im not comparing the amount of work i have as to yours because i know yours is MASSIVE. u really need to start speaking up for yourself. if you don't no one will know you're suffering and you'll just have to bear with it in silence... you gotta wise up, girl....

past week sucks..

its been alot of hard work the past week... many late nights spent in the office. how long more must this go on for? from the looks of it, its gonna be like that till the day i leave. and now the question is when will i finally be able to leave? im neither here nor there now.. yes i am very disappointed in myself that i wasnt able to pull it off. and i dont need anyone of u rubbing it in. i feel bad enough as it is.

am glad that the unxpected is back in action at wala's after the loooooooooong cny break. they totally rawked last night! and of course i enjoyed it with the company of my comfort drink... mr kil-kenny. :P though i started to get sleepy sometime in btwn the sets but i got thru the very end where they always do an oldie mouldie song like a blast from the past kinda thing, something that the band has never played rehearsed together on.. it was a really weird song, something really out of the world. the song had an odd melody and some lyrics about Sally and Alice.... and 'who the fuck is Alice'??!! like huh... belle and i were totally lost and so the moment they finish we juz upped and left. ha. oh and i was really upset with my gf last night. texted her and she IGNORED me! i was really upset..... hmpfs!

alrights... im really bored now. shall wait for the sun to go down slightly and i'll go for my once-a-week jog.. not sure if it helps much after all the junk i eat for the entire week but at least im making an effort? ha nice try huh............. toodles~

P.S. I Love You..

finally got to watch the show.. i've been waiting and wanting to watch it since nov/dec last yr cuz i read about it on some magazine. well who's surprised they only decided to hold it back to valentine's to air it? bleh! i really liked the show! im a sucker for such shows... i cried so much i was shy to leave the theatre. i felt so much for 'Holly', my heart ached for her. *sniffs & sigh* i wonder i'll ever find someone who loves me so much that until when they die they do such things for me? i mean not that i want them to die but yea u get me, don't cha?

so after the movie, we decided to get out of town because it was too crowded for our comfort. we hate crowds. decided to find a quiet place to sit down and have a couple of beers while we talk. ended up in this nice bar at ann siang hill. nice and quiet place to chill but im guessing the bar wont last for much longer. then again along that stretch there's many more bars and restaurants to venture on to. talked alot and i realised we've drifted very far apart all this time. i hope u buck up and move on.. think i've done all i can to help u back on ur feet, the rest is all up to u now.

after ann siang hill we moved on to robertson quay. that place used to only have a few restaurants and bars now like at least 10-20 others have spruced out of no where. mainly jap restaurants. settled for a beer place which served pizzas and finger food, wasnt all too bad cuz they had kilkenny! i mean no matter how bad the food was there's kilkenny so all is fine still! but the food wasnt all that bad. im juz tryin to praise the existence of kilkenny. lol. so we juz sat there and talked/drank so much more until the sleepiness sank in and we decided to call it a day.

'Now being without you takes a lot of getting used to
I should learn to leave with it..

You're a hard habit to break'

i think i've finally done it...

cny visiting...

as usual, cny is always a very boring and sickening time for me. during the past years i cld always get outta it cuz i was 'conveniently' doing shift work and all i had to go for were the meals and scoots i was outta there.. dont need to wayang and entertain the annoying ppl we call relatives. but this yr wasnt half as bad i thought it'd be. the relatives decided to go slow on me this yr? or maybe cuz i had this 'u betta not start questioning me abt the shit im trying to avoid or i'll chew ur head off' face. lol. yea so it was all good... and all the attention was on lil zachary. phew.

oh then another thing i muz touch on... why is it that my ang pow collection is decreasing year by year?? my mum came up with her conclusion that at my age i shouldnt be collecting ang pows but giving them out instead. but crap la im not married so i am entitled to collect ang pows wad! and i deserve more too! like ppl who are left on the shelf dont we deserve some sympathy and given more $ to tide them over this difficult period where we have to face all the lovey dovey families and their oh-so-cute children (yes, sarcasm intended)?!

anyways on 初二 belle, von and i decided to meet up for dinner. we really had enough of the boring visiting.. juz sitting there or getting into senseless conversations juz becuz we happened to be sitting next to each other (in btwn we'd be staring at the walls cuz we ran out of stuff to talk abt and its not like i really wanna talk). either that or i'd be busy munching away trying to look preoccupied so that they'll juz leave me alone. call me anti-social but im not able to be sociable and get myself stuck in a conversation i dont wanna be involved in(if u know what i mean). so anyways back to the outing with the girls... so belle had to start a charitable organisation called 'save the lonely people'.. lol shan't elaborate on that here. and then we ended up at jack's place having our juicy steaks cuz it was one of those days i felt like having a steak and it really doesnt come very often. oh oh and while we were eating the fireworks came on. didnt expect it but we had a rather good view from the restaurant. we didnt wanna go back yet after dinner so we decided to drive ard and we ended up at kallang waterfront where the stretch of restaurants are. we bgt a few beers and had a good time chatting as always. i love my girlies!

初三 i spent the whole day at home watching telly.. pure bliss.

初四 went over to my aunt's place today cuz 1 of my cousin's came back from korea so we decided to get together. she's been away for 2 years but came back every now and then. so i heard she's back till sept and then moving to somewhere else again but she hasnt quite decided where. at times i wish i cld be like here. give up everything for her passion and even though she doesnt earn much but at least she enjoys wad she's doing. i mean isnt that wad life is all abt? doing things that u enjoy.. i guess as long as u earn enough to make ends meet, it beats having a job u hate yet earn alot and in turn u do stuff with the money u make to try and cheer urself up? im not sure if im making sense here but yea... try deciphering it in ur own way.

now im horribly upset cuz i have to go back to sucky work in a few hours time... why does time have to pass by so quickly when i dont have to work and it seems to last eons when im waiting for work to end??!! crap! utterly crap!!!!!

Happy New Year!~~

Happy New Year!

Contradicting as this may sound.. May the year of the "rat" be free of rodents in our lives. I'm sure u all know what i mean and what i'm driving at...

May health and wealth be with us!

high tension, highly disturbed..

Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace

Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared

I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

Goddddddd!!!!

Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

"Given Up - Linkin Park"

i failed in my attempt. im not surprised, im juz not equipped to be able to pit myself against someone in her own territory. for the record, u weren't the only one losing sleep over this. i'll stay... but the question again is for how long? my heart is no longer there. i know not who i can trust anymore. friends or foe, i cant differentiate anymore. best is i juz keep really quiet and hope this nagging problem goes away. well... will it ever?

no more drama.. i am a simpleton.

So tired, tired of all this drama
You go your way and I'll go my way
I need to be free
I'm so tired, tired, tired from all this drama

Broken heart again
Another lesson learned
Better know your friends
Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me
'Cos I can guarantee
That I'll be fine

No more pain
No more pain
No more drama in my life
No one's gonna make me hurt again

Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn't be around
But maybe I like the stress
'Cos I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don't wanna cry no more

No more pain, no more pain
No more games
Messin' with my mind
No more drama in my life
No one's gonna make me hurt again, no more
No more tears, I'm tired of crying every night
No more fears, I really don't wanna fight
No more drama in my life
I don't ever wanna hurt again
Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind

Oh, It feels so good
When you let go of all the drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the games
Free from all the pain
Free from all the stress
To find your happiness

I don't know
Only God knows where the story ends for me
But I know where the story begins
It's up to us to choose
Whether we win or lose
And I choose to win

(No more pain, no more pain, tired of hurting
(No more games)
Tired of your playin' games with my mind
No more drama in my life
No more, no more, no more
No more, no more, no more
No more tears, no more crying every night
No more waking me up in the morning with your disturbing phone calls
Leave me alone, go ahead


(No more pain) No more, I'm tired
No more games, I'm tired, I'm so tired
(No drama) No more, no more
(No more in my life)
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more

(No more drama)
I'm tired of all the drama
(No more drama)
Go 'head, go 'head
(No more drama)
Your demons gettin' out of my face
Goin' out my life
(No more drama)
I'm about to lose my mind
Lord help me, help me sing

No more drama

Oh help me sing
I need a piece of mind
A piece of mind, piece of mind
Well, I need
I need to know that you agree
Oh no, oh no
No more, no more, no more drama
No more drama in my, in my life

So tired, I'm so tired
So tired, tired of all this drama
Go ahead with all your drama

"No More Drama - Mary J. Blige"

i think throughout my whole working life, however short it may be, today has been by far the most dramatic day. i dont understand why ppl muz behave the way they do? defensive, aggresive and everyone seems to have a hidden agenda. am i the only simple person left on this planet? am i really wrong to wanna give up, pack up and leave? i mean how fun is it having to feel like a headless chicken walking around in a live firing range, not knowing when i'll be shot down. hello people, im only here to earn a decent living, and mind u im not being paid big bucks for me to tolerate the immense nonsense. why muz everyone trample on each other? why cant we work together, help each other and juz fucking get things done so we can all call it a day? i dont wanna be caught amidst any tussles over money or power, i honestly dont give a fucking damn abt any of that. seriously... u people really need to get a life. concentrate on other things that gives u a better quality lifestyle. whatever that may be.. for now, please fucking leave me alone!

pre-cny gathering..

had a mini get-together at a friend's place today. it was fun. supposed to be a lunch thingy but it dragged on to dinner and watching dvds till midnight. no complains whatsoever cuz it was good company, altho the last part of watching the sex in the city dvds evolved into trying-to-stay-awake campaign. poor chums. haha. thanks for dyeing my hair. now i need to be very conscious of not sitting under the lights or it'd be too obvious?! -grumbles- :P

anyways, moving along.. while chattin with a friend a certain topic arosed. don't really know how to put into words but in short its abt how a certain individual has started to make me feel repulsive and disgusted towards the actions and behaviour. i have examples to testify y im feeling this way. its not juz baseless allegations. and i have to be very diplomatic and tactful abt this cuz who knows if that individual will ever chance upon my blog? in any case i shall leave it as it is and not state the examples. my only advice if you ever get to see this and by some weird chance u think i might juz be referring to u... yes, u. pls get a fucking life of ur own... wake up, its time to move on.....

1) the world DOES NOT revolve around u.
2) everything is NOT juz about u.
3) DONT conveniently start blaming someone when something bad happens, or something against ur liking happens.
4) DO NOT treat another person as ur spare, ppl are not there for u to fall back on.
5) please brush up on ur english, think u really need to improve ur vocabulary. we're finding it hard to understand u. and no, we're not abt to start improving our mandarin for ur sake.

alrights.. i shall be a meanie no further. if u really think im referring to u, try comforting urself. 'im sure ah fun is not referring to me' repeat that 10 times and u'll be fine. i personally assure that.

peace out.