when u and i collide..

my friend... dont assume u can read me like a book. when i let my defences down becuz u are a close friend and let u into my life is doesnt mean what u see is all there is to me..

i'm sorry i didn't read the signs and collided head on with u.. into something i never foresee was going to happen in the next hundred years.

i'm sorry u felt i've let u down when to begin with i knew shit abt what the heck was going on. i only realised recently only to find out i've already been deemed a liar when i had absolutely no intention of lying at all.

question is, am i even sorry? or am i juz being nice? i cld choose to confront u which im holding back cuz knowing me... it might turn out ugly, which is something i dont want cuz u are.. afterall.. a good friend. seriously, would u prefer to thrash this out? i dont want any of us to come out being bitter and all...

now i dunno how to close this chapter.. as much as u dunno how to. as much as she doesnt know how to. lets juz all hang then. till we find a solution if theres even one?

"If I am

Only here to watch you as you suffer,

I will let you down...

The answers we find,

Are never what we had in mind.

So we make it up as we go along...

You don't talk of dreams

I won't mention tomorrow.

And we won't make those promises that we can't keep..."

lazing & drinking my days away..

past few days haven't had much to do so i've caught up on abit of telly... i was watchin "Who's line is it anyway" i used to love that show. damn fricking hilarious! suddenly a thought came across my mind its like sucha simple pleasure in life yet i dont get to enjoy simple things like that? i seriously dont want my life to go on the way it is for the past year. its been too long, too much to take and its slowly eating me inside.

i wanna move on, i have to move on. then again life is always about wanting something but not being able to get it? now i got myself stuck in something i dunno how to get myself out of or do i even wanna get myself outta it? u see.... me life stinks.

so glad im on leave for 1 day tmr... at least i can avoid the monday blues. u all will not understand how precious juz goin on ONE day leave means to me. laze laze laze laze laze.......... let me hope and pray that nobody from the office or clients calls me tmr.... *rolls eyes*

hello.. its been a bloody long time.

yes trust me i know its been like a month since i got down to blogging.. there has been so many instances whereby i mention "i will definitely blog this down!" but yea knowing me i never quite got down to doing and once the moment passes, my memory fails me. ha like whats new?

time is never on my side. tell me i have bad time management skills but i seriously dont think the problem lies with me? why can't i go through a simple day like how others do.. a day where i can say "ok, time to go home cuz i've finished my work." i can never relate to that becuz my work is neverending.. i never go through a day feeling like i've accomplished enough and done all i am required to.. is this the way it has to be? alright enough of my endless grumbling...

moving on.....

the past week has been a queer one. my emotions are hard to decipher and even harder to control? shan't elaborate any further till i substantiate what im feeling?

"This ain't a movie no

No fairy tale conclusion ya'll

It gets more confusing everyday

Sometimes it's heaven sent

Then we head back to hell again

I hang up you call

We rise and we fall

And we feel like just walking away

As our love advances

We take second chances

Though it's not a fantasy

I still want you to stay

Take it slow

Maybe we'll live and learn

Maybe we'll crash and burn

Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,

maybe you'll return

Maybe another fight

Maybe we won't survive

But maybe we'll grow

We never know"