long overdue post..

i've been away for like so long im not sure wad to update anymore. in this absence i've gotten 2 more tattoos and many more other stuff, that some are not worth mentioning and others are for ya'll to find out.. ha.

caught the sneak preview of twilight today. slightly disappointed cuz was kinda expecting more but overall its still watchable. i've seen much worse movies. well there'll be a sequal to it.. cuz it ends with .......... ya i dont like such endings. tsk. went to orchard today and its one of those days u bump into hell lotta ppl? saw liah, lee sun sun, allyssa, jean kor.. is sg small or wad?? wanted to do xmas shoppin but didnt end up buying much. shall try again tmr after brunch. am lookin forward to it! to see me crabbie and chummy.. hope i dun get sleepy and lazy after brunch becuz there really isnt very much time left to do shopping! grrrrrr...

work has been ever so tiring.. with the implementation of a dumb new operating system. i've analysed and come to the conclusion that the only few reasons why we have been put through so much nonsense is because....
1) HI is being stingy and refuses to pay licence rights to use the good old operating system we were running on.
2) HI came up with this PMS to create high-paying jobs for the whole HUGE team who 'assists' to implement it.
3) HI came up with this PMS to force us to work like how all other dumb H properties function. 4) the gardener bribed them to make the program work towards her benefit (when it comes to the inflexibility of quoting rates).
5) HI is trying to prove their stupidity when they managed to come up with a dumb PMS but is unable to come up with a catering system to go along with it, and when asked why so.. the reason is becuz due to the downturn of the economy the catering management system project has been stalled till further notice.. so now we have to do double work! WA LA! how efficient! **refer to point 2.. maybe if we didnt have sucha huge implementation team who draw huge salaries we might have had some funds left to create the catering system?!

in short... the dumbasses are out to kill us! *spits* die u bastards! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!

Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!

Motherfucker!

Urggh!

~Killing in the name, Rage against the machine~

meaningless conversation?

someone had a craving for roti prata so i suggested cheese prata at pasir panjang.. which she 'cleverly' linked it to being near pasir ris.. lol. maybe cuz both places had pasir in it? so it can also mean pasir panjang is near bukit panjang which is in turn near bukit timah? woohoo! hahahahahahahaaaaaa had a damn bloody good laugh! :P in the end also didnt make it to eat any prata... hiaks.

watched the coffin and saw v over this weekend... kinda disappointing. the coffin wasnt half as scary i thought it'd be and im not exactly a saw fan so yea, not much plot to begin with. so they ended it off in sucha way there'd still be saw vi... still think REC is the best i've watched in a long time.. y'all should go catch it if u havent!

sigh so sad the weekend has come to an end already. it'd be a long long week ahead. so not lookin forward to it........................ good night.. at least i get to do something i like before i have to go to work again. sleep... i hope i wake up a happy, chirpy person!

'Day after day I must face a world of strangers

Where I don't belong, I'm not that strong

It's nice to know that there's someone I can turn to

Who will always care, you're always there

When there's no getting over that rainbow

When my smallest of dreams won't come true

I can take all the madness the world has to give

But I won't last a day without you

Touch me and I end up singing

Troubles seem to up and disappear

You touch me with the love you're bringing

I can't really lose when you're near

If all my friends have forgotten half their promises

They're not unkind, just hard to find

One look at you and I know that I could learn to live

Without the rest, I found the best..'

when u and i collide..

my friend... dont assume u can read me like a book. when i let my defences down becuz u are a close friend and let u into my life is doesnt mean what u see is all there is to me..

i'm sorry i didn't read the signs and collided head on with u.. into something i never foresee was going to happen in the next hundred years.

i'm sorry u felt i've let u down when to begin with i knew shit abt what the heck was going on. i only realised recently only to find out i've already been deemed a liar when i had absolutely no intention of lying at all.

question is, am i even sorry? or am i juz being nice? i cld choose to confront u which im holding back cuz knowing me... it might turn out ugly, which is something i dont want cuz u are.. afterall.. a good friend. seriously, would u prefer to thrash this out? i dont want any of us to come out being bitter and all...

now i dunno how to close this chapter.. as much as u dunno how to. as much as she doesnt know how to. lets juz all hang then. till we find a solution if theres even one?

"If I am

Only here to watch you as you suffer,

I will let you down...

The answers we find,

Are never what we had in mind.

So we make it up as we go along...

You don't talk of dreams

I won't mention tomorrow.

And we won't make those promises that we can't keep..."

lazing & drinking my days away..

past few days haven't had much to do so i've caught up on abit of telly... i was watchin "Who's line is it anyway" i used to love that show. damn fricking hilarious! suddenly a thought came across my mind its like sucha simple pleasure in life yet i dont get to enjoy simple things like that? i seriously dont want my life to go on the way it is for the past year. its been too long, too much to take and its slowly eating me inside.

i wanna move on, i have to move on. then again life is always about wanting something but not being able to get it? now i got myself stuck in something i dunno how to get myself out of or do i even wanna get myself outta it? u see.... me life stinks.

so glad im on leave for 1 day tmr... at least i can avoid the monday blues. u all will not understand how precious juz goin on ONE day leave means to me. laze laze laze laze laze.......... let me hope and pray that nobody from the office or clients calls me tmr.... *rolls eyes*

hello.. its been a bloody long time.

yes trust me i know its been like a month since i got down to blogging.. there has been so many instances whereby i mention "i will definitely blog this down!" but yea knowing me i never quite got down to doing and once the moment passes, my memory fails me. ha like whats new?

time is never on my side. tell me i have bad time management skills but i seriously dont think the problem lies with me? why can't i go through a simple day like how others do.. a day where i can say "ok, time to go home cuz i've finished my work." i can never relate to that becuz my work is neverending.. i never go through a day feeling like i've accomplished enough and done all i am required to.. is this the way it has to be? alright enough of my endless grumbling...

moving on.....

the past week has been a queer one. my emotions are hard to decipher and even harder to control? shan't elaborate any further till i substantiate what im feeling?

"This ain't a movie no

No fairy tale conclusion ya'll

It gets more confusing everyday

Sometimes it's heaven sent

Then we head back to hell again

I hang up you call

We rise and we fall

And we feel like just walking away

As our love advances

We take second chances

Though it's not a fantasy

I still want you to stay

Take it slow

Maybe we'll live and learn

Maybe we'll crash and burn

Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,

maybe you'll return

Maybe another fight

Maybe we won't survive

But maybe we'll grow

We never know"

hello bello...

a brain fucking moment while chatting with belle...

[aђ fﻥй]™ says:
theres nothin much to watch on the movies
[aђ fﻥй]™ says:
except alot of local shit
BeLLe @ Work says:
true.. hahaha.. but i'm kinda in a movie mood
BeLLe @ Work says:
what show are u showing?
[aђ fﻥй]™ says:
har
BeLLe @ Work says:
har?
[aђ fﻥй]™ says:
wad show am i showing
[aђ fﻥй]™ says:
i dun show shows
[aђ fﻥй]™ says:
wtf u talking abt
BeLLe @ Work says:
hahahhaha
BeLLe @ Work says:
sorry laaaa
BeLLe @ Work says:
i'm sleepy

its been long while..

haven't had the time or patience to get down to blogging which explains my absence of almost a month away from here... work is sucking the life out of me. its juz terrible. am still wondering why i work so hard for? again it always boils down to the stinking thing called responsibility i have instilled in me. something that ppl nowadays lack of. my word of advice for ppl who just started out fresh into the workforce. be humble, work alot-talk very little and do not complain becuz u have not earned the fucking right to. damn it..

last friday was a day which i did not know to be happy or sad about. it was the departure of my best friend from work.. my chummy which evolved from just a colleague from another department to my boss to my confidante and really a very very good friend. i'll miss the days we've spent together at work. and of cos everyone has been asking wad'll happen to me after u leave, i seriously do not know. i'll never be able to find another 'partner' like u.. but that aside, im really happy that u made it out of the dumps that we're still stuck in. i really wish u well and that we'd still be in constant contact even after u've left ok?

"How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh
Outweigh the bad.

I thought we'd get to see forever
But forever's gone away
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

I don't know where this road
Is going to lead
All I know is where we've been
And what we've been through.

If we get to see tomorrow
I hope it's worth all the wait
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

And I'll take with me the memories
To be my sunshine after the rain
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday."

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday - Boyz II Men

another lazy sunday..

had great plans to spend the day with jilly but she came down with a bad tummyache... poor kiddo. hope she's feeling better now. u better get well soon... i still owe u a jap buffet dinner for your bday. in actual fact i have craving for sashimi. hahahaaaaaa

ended up meeting tg for coffee at starbucks and talking crap. i actually miss the times when the millenia starbucks had outside seating and we used to spend most of our days there after work talking nonsense, smoking and juz chilling out after a hard day's work. at that time starbucks was like my poison, something i cldnt get past a day without. oh wells it might not be a bad thing that they moved into the mall, think that move saved me ALOT of money.

after coffee went on to watch the mummy.. the seats at grand cathay suck. i didnt mean the location of the seats becuz we booked the tix so that was fine. i meant like everytime the person next to u moves u can feel it. it was damn annoying and it actually made me dizzy. the movie was ok.. action-packed. the kinda no brainer show suitable for viewing on a sunday. although it was weird how they switched in between english and mandarin. i mean i know its supposed to be as such becuz the title is like "THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR".. but to see michelle yeoh speak mandarin (not fantastic) in the beginning and then nearing the end she began to speak in fluent english.. and i was thinking to myself they had english classes back then cuz she's like immortal? wah seh she took the time to upgrade herself in her 2,000+ years... got herself english-educated. hahahahahaaaaaaa but still it was enjoyable to watch la.. =)

ok now im so dreading to go back to work in a few hours time... got tons of deadlines to meet, many already passed the due dates. sigh i feel like im so gonna die. everyday is like a struggle at work and i can only attribute it to 1 a**hole.. seriously, u're a f***ing pain in the a**.. u should really get a life and perhaps get a job which suits ur competence and capability.. which u know the match of such a job is zilch.... and like u say "watch out, what comes around goes around" may this befall on u too... burn........

National Day Parade Preview 020808

The overhyped-up highlight of the whole parade.... dig in! its almost 2 minutes long!

been another bad week..

"Not from the stars do I my judgment pluck;
And yet me thinks I have astronomy,
But not to tell of good or evil luck,
Of plagues, of dearths, or seasons' quality;
Nor can I fortune to brief minutes tell,
Pointing to each his thunder, rain and wind,
Or say with princes if it shall go well,
By oft predict that I in heaven find:
But from thine eyes my knowledge I derive,
And, constant stars, in them I read such art
As truth and beauty shall together thrive,
If from thyself to store thou wouldst convert;
Or else of thee this I prognosticate:
Thy end is truth's and beauty's doom and date."

[aђ fﻥй]™ says:
i needed a massage so i called my friend and then we ended up goin for a massage then we got hungry after that so we had a big meal, we felt fat after that so we went swimmin and we felt damn awake after that so we went for a movie.. ---> that was how i spent my sunday. wad a nice summary..

am getting lazy to blog... till next time, im bothered. ciaos......

i've got happy feet!

i brought my new digicam to work on Friday and took some pictures in the office with the 2 silly girls.. created a collage of some of the better pics. ha. and then they decided to announce something that should have been effected long ago but its really nothing to shout about. and so we got our incentive bonus for last year.. oh wells its really better then nothing so we shouldn't be complaining about the amount at all? i mean so many people have come and gone without it so we should be happy that we are the very first batch who actually sticked around to collect it?! ha

had to cancel the JB trip becuz wendy's relative passed away and she wasn't gonna be at work. gave wala a miss cuz i didn't feel like i was up to shirlyn's rock n roll stuff. ended up having a drink with jillie at the brewerkz in kallang and then after that to watch "21" at cine. gee the only seats they had left were 2nd from the front. i felt like my neck and back was gonna snap somewhere in btwn the movie and it was so frickin cold! practically turned into an ice cube.. bbbrRrRrr! and the show was really draggy, boring. jill, we shld have juz watched deception instead but the shitheads didnt have the poster up on the 5th floor so we didn't know what show it was! *spits*

and becuz of the 2nd row seats we felt that we had to pamper ourselves today so we made an appointment to go do foot reflexology. and then jill suggested to go for the dr fish thingy at the flyer, to let the fish feed on our feet. sounds sick. damn fricking ticklish! its a once in a lifetime thing. both of us deduced that after trying this fish therapy thingy and the flyer we prob wont go back there for a 2nd time? and then we also realised we shouldn't go back to the fish thingy cuz why should we be paying them to feed their fish??! hello we were the phish food so they should be paying us?! haha took some pics...

maciam tiger beer lady... this is jillie trying to promote the 30mins fish therapy + 10mins shoulder massage at $78!

jillie's foot

my foot!

my feet being phish food

we were bored while waiting to be phish food

yea... me being spastic as always!

so after being phish food for 30mins we needed to feed ourselves and we ended up at glutton's bay.. had chix wings, stingray, hokkien mee.. the usual i have when i go there. and then we went over to marina sq to get me my green tea ice cream! mmMmmmmm.. i think its addictive. dammitz. and its not cheap lo $3.80 for a single scoop. bleh! ok so thats me sunday well spent with jillie.. now we're sulking abt having to go work in a few hours time. *sigh*

im hoping it gets betta..

am trying to recuperate from a very bad week at work. im upset with everyone and i really dont see why i should be the one caught in between yet still the stinking responsibility in me forbids me to juz up and walk away... well i hope its over.

went to watch the happening on friday after work. duh show but mark wahlberg is cute as always.

sat i was supposed to go to work but ah wong called and disuaded me to go and i think it kinda worked cuz i ended up at kenko and signed up for a 12 session massage package and i ended up using 2 sessions at 1 go. went to work to sort out abit of stuff and pack up my desk becuz of some dumbass vip coming on tues.. like we really care right? ended up at wala of course and we had val with us.. but half the time she was fighting to stay away. she was tearing as if her bf juz dumped her or something and i was like stop it la before ppl ard us think im the one who dumped u! hahaha

now im preparing to go out to meet ah yin to watch another movie.. i think sg is so fucking boring.. i really dont wanna die here! dunno wad show also... the adam sandler one? luckily im driving kor's car else i think i'd be too lazy to go anywhere lo. im beginning to think im bored without mummy ard cuz on sundays she'd normally settle my meals. and im very hungry now.. thats the only reason why i got up at 4pm else i think i can sleep thru the whole day if i didnt have a stomach...?

sucky week..

had a long sucky week at work and the upcoming one should be just the same. because of the 1 sucky event im handling. cant wait for it to be over.

nothing much to blog about cuz its all been nothing but work. i need a break soon before i snap. im thinking whether i shld juz go check out the websites when i have more time, book an air ticket to some unexpected destination, get my leave approved, fix my accommodation then just pack up and leave? i might just do that... fweeeee

oh i went to the PC fair at Suntec yesterday. u all must be thinking im crazy right cuz im normally not the kinda person to go squeeze with like half of the sg population just to get a slightly better deal? well i happened to be at work yesterday and chums was also there so i went ahead lo since i wanted to get a new digicam. so i ended up buying a cam which was over my budget.. when i ever have the time to finally fix it up i suppose it'll mean u guys will see more pictures posted on my blog?

oh yah i went to wala too.. left work at ard a lil past 8 and of course we cldn't get any seats so we were standing for a good 2 sets. geeee... i cldnt feel my legs after that. and then my bestie had to leave me with her friend when i didnt feel like entertaining lo. luckily bello was ard. muahahaha.. bestie, pls hor next time wanna leave someone or something to me make sure its someone better looking or something more valuable?!!! hahahahahaaaaaaa oh oh oh... and shirlyn walked past us and smiled and waved at us but dumbie belle didnt realise. she was so cute la! fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

the weekend gone just with a blink of the eye....

this weekend passed me by wayyyyyyy too quickly. lemme recap on the whole string of not so many events...



friday
went to dinner after work... went home shortly after. felt sleepy (1st time in a very long while i felt sleepy at 11pm!) and sickly, popped a cold panadol and a muscle relaxant and went to bed. woke up the next day at 4pm?!



saturday
was supposed to JB with "birdy" but it was pouring.. really heavily so we called it off. i dragged myself outta bed ard 5pm cuz i was starving. met up with tg, may, tee and ed for steamboat dinner. kinda enjoyable cuz of the weather. was gonna catch SATC at a lil past midnight. had alot of time to waste so we went for a beer. i love SATC! enjoyed every single bit of it.



sunday
got up and met belle.. she accompanied me to have my messy hair fixed. went to a new hairdresser today. not too bad, pretty inexpensive too. i might juz use her from now on.. jason irritates me la. he always makes me wait way too long for a sucky hair cut. ha. but i like him.. he's damn funny.. still.. he's not worth the time and distance for me to travel to go visit him!! did some shoppin and bought some stuff while waitin to catch kung fu panda. i thought it was funny but belle didnt find it funny. oh wells. i like jack black. he's cool. oh and we bumped into taxidoor and von who were gonna watch SATC so we ended up meeting for dinner at glutton's bay. it was an ok dinner.. chums, i agree that it wasnt as satisfying. i wonder why though? ok now its dreadful having to think that i have to be back at work in abt 9hrs time! *hyperventilates and passes out* maybe then i wldn't have to go to work? ha... nice try. bleaH!

a short story i came up with... enjoy!

there came a new boss named Bobby.. who was really only a white dog in disguise.

and Bobby had a defiant subordinate called Sue Lyn aka the Ultimate Bitch..

Moral of the story: Bobby should really stay out of Sue Lyn's way cuz she really doesn't give two hoots about him cuz he is afterall only the 2nd in command and... a white dog in disguise. period. *scratch ass*

*lol im mad... the pre monday jitters getting to me! wahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa

take me away..

this time what I want is you

there is no one else

who can take your place

this time you burn me with your eyes

you see past all the lies

you take it all away

I've seen it all

and it's never enough

it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away

take me away

I've got nothing left to say

just take me away

I try to make my way to you

but still I feel so lost

I don't know what else I can do

I've seen it all

and it's never enough

it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away

take me away

I've got nothing left to say

just take me away

don't give up on me yet

don't forget who I am

I know I'm not there yet

but don't let me stay here alone

this time what I want is you

there is no one else

who can take your place

I've seen enough

and it's never enough

it keeps leaving me needing you

~Lifehouse, take me away..

tat sat with allyssa g/kat p, m9 sunday brunch & click five sunday

think the title already says it all. haha. well, allyssa g has been bugging me to bring her to do a tattoo and we finally got down to doing it yday. gosh the traffic into JB was horrendous. we ended up walkin in from the woodlands check point. check out her tat pics on FB (cant seem to post any pics here). she ended up doing 2! had fun with wendy also.. pui, now we know we cant go out with girly girls or we'd be bored to death! haha. had to give wala a miss because by the time we got back into sg it was ard 10+pm already.

got up early today (earlier then i normally do on the usual sundays) because i had a date with the girls, auntie irene/chummy von/crabbie reggie for sunday champagne brunch at M9. had good food and company, what more can i ask for? except for a huge check... darn expensive brunch. headed home for a rest and found zachy poo poo at my place. mum had to babysit cuz me bro had something on. spent some time messing ard with that lil cutie.

then... jilly came over and chauffered me to the indoor stadium to watch click five. the return transportation came with the free tix. it was a package deal that jilly offered me in exchange for my 'great almighty' company. even supper came complimentary. hahaha. its the first concert i've been to without knowing a frickin single song by the performer. didnt know wad the heck they were singing, totally unentertaining. i would have won an award if only they gave out one to the most unresponsive attendee of the concert. wahahahahaha.. i was so gonna fall asleep, i was looking ard at weird fans more then the stage. that was how bored i was. jilly... pls still bring me to concerts in future. i promise i'll learn the songs of the performers before i go with u! hee hee

Heal me, i'm heartsick

I'm hungry and i'm broken

I'm haunted, and weeping

The blood of heaven flowing like a river tonite, tears i can't fight on my own

I'm a haunted, heaving, i'm hung and barely breathing

The drowning ocean, snuff the sun in motion.

Theres a pill on my tongue, a shot from a gun , the bottles bottom

I'm lonely as a star

~No Vacancy - Heal me, I'm heartsick

wedding bells are ringing..

cw and lou finally got hitched.. it wasn't easy i heard but im glad they pulled thru it. here's to wishing them all the best. here's some pics we took. we're really a spastic bunch. LOL.

the couple with the cute lil girls

the bodyguards to the mini cooper.

the bride and i

the ever-spastic bride

the crazy bunch

me with wendy's big dumb glasses

that's wendy!

ok now to talk about the whole experience. the church part was abit duh. not that the church wasn't nice or anything but the pastor/priest.. or whatever u call him in catholic terms was really queer. he was slurring and half the time he didn't quite know what he was talking about or maybe it was just me that couldn't understand him? but i refuse to think the fault lies with me even though i was surviving on like 3hrs of sleep. ha. it looked disorganised, or rather he was the disorganised one?

then we proceeded to grand hyatt for the lunch reception. it was the same function room charlene had her wedding dinner at too. Sir Stamford Room. i didnt quite like that room. it looked old but yea its grand hyatt what do u expect? the food was nothing to shout about too. the service however i must say has improved. sorry for being such a critic. thats what working in a hotel does to u..

so anyways cw & lou hired some wedding planners to run the show for them. guess it takes alot of hassle away from both of them cuz they're both busy people. there was this wedding singer.. they sounded ok, did some up tempo songs not the boring stuff couples normally like to use. so anyways i was telling the rest IF I EVER get married i'd hire shirlyn and the unxpected to perform.. and yes my 'hop-in' instead of march in will still be to Fatboy Slim's, Rockefeller Skank . hahahahahahaaaa

angels or devils?

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time
the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see
still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

~Dishwalla, angels or devils.

today was probably the first time i've seen boss throw her temper. never seen her so upset before. it scares me.. scares me alot. i didn't mean for things to end up like that but i guess its about payback time. i've had enough of bitching and i seriously want to end it once and for all. im not asking for him to back down. i will... if only she'd allow me to. *sighs

another emo moment

couldn't sleep last night and not wanting to waste the night away cuz i wasn't gonna be working today i went out to catch 2 late night or rather early morning movies. watched 'made of honor' and 'what happens in las vegas'. yea no-brainers are good for that time of the day.

i kinda liked made of honor. patrick demsey is rather cute.. but its very fairy tale-ish i felt. i mean like how it always end happily ever after when life in fact is hardly ever the case? but still being the sucker that i am i still teared during the scene where tom managed to win hannah over juz when she was about to exchange vows with an ugly scottish guy in the chapel. ha. it was another emo moment where i felt how nice it was for him to finally get something that he had wanted so much. i mean how many times do such things actually happen? especially of such big significance? dah.. i dunno..

what happens in las vegas was damn boring.. it couldn't even keep me awake. gee.. yea nothing much to say about that show cept maybe cameron diaz looks really old and ashton kucher.. urms doesn't look very good? ha

well i think i've been drinking way too much these couple of weeks. yesterday for the first time i was afraid of the smell of beer when i opened a can of kil and i ended up only taking a few sips but i dont suppose this fear will last for long. i resolve to die of either lung cancer or liver failure? ha...

Hold up

Hold on

Don't be scared

You'll never change what's been and gone

May your smile

Shine on

Don't be scared

Your destiny may keep you warm

Cos all of the stars

Are fading away

Just try not to worry

You'll see them some day

Take what you need

And be on your way

And stop crying your heart out

Get up

Come on

Why're you scared?

You'll never change

What's been and gone

~Oasis, Stop crying your heart out

where did it all go wrong?

But I hope you know that it won't let go

It sticks around with you until the day you die

And I hope you know that it's touch and go

I hope the tears don't stain the world that waits outside.

Where did it all go wrong?

~Oasis, where did it all go wrong?

another zombie-fied day at work..

so i couldn't sleep last night.. was chattin on msn till like 2 and i decided to log off when everyone left me to go to bed.. i ended up taking a walk around my estate while taking a few puffs. had a good scolding from my mum when i got back cuz apparently she heard me leaving the house and decided to get up and wait for me to get home to give me a tongue-lashing. bah. anyways i only managed to get like 2hrs of sleep and i was really malfunctioning at work. and today was one of those days i felt my boss treats me a like a slave. dammits.

the walk made me realise i have so much on my mind. some are senseless, some are worthless and some are juz not worth mentioning.

i hope i havent been scaring u these couple of days. i meant what i said and i'd never do anything to sabotage the kinda bond we've built up all this time. i'd not ask for anything more. i can't? i won't la... :D

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you i'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cuz talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I wont live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

-always had this song but never really paid attention to it till ked asked me abt it the other day
~Secondhand Serenade, Fall For You

my train of thoughts.. think the train might be derailing?

i've been getting funny ideas in my head. super random and weird ones.. stuff that has absolutely no relation to whatever i might be doing there and then. am i losing it? might be... these couple of days have been wayyyyyyy too exciting for me. wonder how much more my weak heart can take?

Look at us baby, up all night
Tearing our love apart
Aren't we the same two people who live
through years in the dark?
Ahh...Every time I try to walk away
Something makes me turn around and stay
And I can't tell you why

When we get crazy,it just ain't to right,
(try to keep you head, little girl)
Girl, I get lonely, too
You don't have to worry
Just hold on tight
(don't get caught in your little world)'
Cause I love you
Nothing's wrong as far as I can see
We make it harder than it has to be
and I can't tell you why
no, baby, I can't tell you why
I can't tell you why
No, no, baby, I can't tell you why
I can't tell you why
I can't tell you why

~Eagles, I can't tell you why

got a new tat..

had an urge last week to get another tattoo but the urge came too late on a sunday for me to satisfy so i postponed it to this sunday instead. so off we went, ked and i to visit wendy in JB. went there with no idea what kinda tattoo i wanted. i juz wanted something in black, maybe a symbol, maybe a sign? and this was what i ended up with... like wendy said 'eh did u realise that what u tattooed wasn't what u asked for?' hahaha






then we went for dinner shortly after getting the tattoo done. oh in between ked and i went shopping and we bought some stuff. i bought a pair of chucks and a tee and ked got a tee and a cap. we had bak kut teh at some roadside stall but it wasnt really good. and now ked and i are grumbling over msn that we're hungry. haha













had a long walk back cuz the queues for the bus were insanely LONG. so we walked from jb customs --> woodlands checkpoint --> woodlands central and from there took a bus to woodlands mrt. and poor me was struggling to walk back from buona vista mrt to home cuz the ankle started to hurt. i think i took like 20mins to get back when normally it takes less than 10mins?


ohhhh lets backtrack a lil... i was at wala wala... yet again. last night with keddy and may. it was my 1st encounter that they didnt allow more ppl to go upstairs because it was overcrowded but like may said it cld be because i always get there early so i dont see it happening? quite true. so you ling came along awhile later and she was wearing the same coloured top as shirlyn. they both looked like zebras.. haha. ling and her friend were really entertaining. stupid ling made me go over and bluff her friend to drink in the end i had to finish my own drink and theirs too. they were juz pushing the jug around.. really doing injustice to the alcohol and i cldn't take it any further so i decided to wipe out the whole jug. okok i was juz being like how an alcoholic behaves! lol.. i had good fun with those 3... we shall do it again some other time.. =D

frustration sets in

its been a rough week at work.. especially after the very sickening revenue meeting i had to sit in on thursday. i felt humiliated but i guess i could walk out and laugh about it. i feel like injustice has set upon me. i still dont understand why i have to tolerate all this. someone please give me a reason?? enlighten me.. or do i need to sit under the bodhi tree to meditate to finally achieve nirvana?

"When you get to this, then thoughts become still without being stilled, calmness and insight arise without being produced, the mind appears without being revealed. To try to liken it to the body of cosmic space or the light of a thousand suns would be to be further away than the sky is from the earth. "

"If you believe you are enlightened, you are actually a little bit crazy."

i think i believe in the latter more then the former. i have come back to the question again of how much more can i tolerate? its juz not worth all the heartache and frustations...

its getting harder and harder to breathe..

sorry i havent updated my blog ever since i got back from Japan but i wld suppose that those who know me well enough to know that i even have a blog wld have heard that it wasn't a very enjoyable trip. oh wells... if i ever get down to uploading the pics or getting it from my cousins and post it up somewhere i'll let u all know yea?

so moving on, the title of this blog is as such becuz i am coming down with a cold. the very day i went back to work i became sick. its either i havent quite accustomed myself back to the sucky sg weather or im simply juz allergic to work. the 1st day back at work was bad... as usual. assholes not covering my work well but i've grumbled way too much on that so i shan't start again. it was so bad i had to spend like half a good day at work yesterday, on a sat. which totally sucks. -sigh- well at least my sat ended on a good note cuz i was at wala. =D

juz came back from watching 'over her dead body' at lido and the cinema was in a really bad state. shaw honestly needs to do some major revamp to the place man. i felt like i was in some eng wah cinema in like clementi 10yrs ago.. and in ked's terms 'yea there were even mosquitos there!' hahahaha those were the days. then there were like some malays (2 girls and a guy) ked thought they looked like indonesians tho, there were like chatting all the fricking way in malay. it get so annoyed that i had to turn around and go 'do u mind not talking?!' and they still continued... until i turned again and gave them the killer stare that they decided to shut up. i was at this point if they were still gonna open their gaps i was gonna drag them out and go like THERE U GO, U CAN CHAT HERE IF U WANT! but that wld take way too much effort to carry out. haha so anyways the show was really cheesy but light-hearted.. we decided we didnt wanna watch something too tensing on the brain on a sunday. heh. i tot eva longoria looked pretty good.

after the show we went to lau pa sat to satisfy my craving for sting ray. yummy. i suddenly miss all those times after afternoon shift where we went suppering all over. now i feel so suaku cuz i hardly have time to go out after work on wkdays. -sulks- and even back then with all the good suppers i wasnt as fat as i am now. like what the heck is happening to me....

im leaving on a jet plane but i know when i'll be back again.. ha

so i'll be setting off to tokyo in like 6hrs time. frantically trying to pack wadever i need now and hopefully i dont leave anything out. anyways i shld be fine, im always the light traveller and i only bring along and require the most basic necessities. :) im excited about the trip becuz its been quite awhile since i went so far for so long? yea the trips i've been making these few couple of years have always been for like max 5 days and doesn't require a flight of more than 4hrs? yea thereabouts... but im not excited abt my old cousin going along.. bleh, i dont even wanna go into that now.

skinny chums called me this evening to tell me the US trip is off for her cuz she doesnt think its worth it to go alone cuz she'll need to rent a car to get around and for her to pay alone... its costly. oh wells.. i will still try to work it out with my aunt when i see her in JPN, maybe she might be kind enough to fly me to US and lemme sponge off her. afterall im like her only niece that hasn't visited her in hawaii yet. well if that really doesnt work out then i hope UK will welcome me. -_-

okies a few words before i leave... as if im going away for damn long.


- smally chums aka my gf.. dont miss me too much k? i know its gonna be painful without me around to 'assist' you at work but you'll always be in my thoughts k! *muaks* and i'll remember that taxidoor told me not to worry and that i dont have to get anything for u 2! yaY... hahaha


- my other specs fanatic aka bestie.. don't miss me! i know u won't.. piece of crap! and u actually tried to ask me to go to wala this sat, i was so close to kicking u luckily we were only chattin off msn! tsk tsk..


- ah yin.. i'll bring u some munchies back cuz u bgt me that you-all-think-its-sweet-but-i-don't-think-it-is candy back for me from turkey! hee


- beLLo.. i hope u're fine, sorry i havent had much time to chat with u and im kinda shocked to hear the news last evening. i promise i'll meet up with u when i get back and then we can talk k? *hugs*


- my lil mozzitoe moo.. don't miss my presence off msn cuz thats the closest u get anyways? heh. i'll webbie u when i get back k? *smacks*


i dont know who else reads my blog.. if i missed u out.. u know u wun get anything from me! hahahahahahaaaaaa i dont plan to buy much anyways so dont hope for too much k? :P


i'll be back sooooooooooooooooooooooooonnn... toooooo soooooooooooooooooooooon! peace out!

'we will rock you!'

Just came back from watching the Queen musical 'we will rock you', it was so damn good. MiG was wayyyyyyy cool. we were at the very last row of the fricking huge auditorium but the view was good even though everything looked really tiny. we decided we couldn't afford to pay more because i was going to tokyo and allyssa is going to cambodia soon too.

im so so glad i managed to catch it or else i think i'd live to regret not watching it. hee. anyways the 4 of us were like screaming for our lives. we didnt quite belong to the last row cuz all the rest were very quiet and mature people. then we like oh what the hell... we screamed anyways. lol.

yesterday i was at wala again but this time with the people i least expected too. maybe some things happen for a reason? its weird how we ended up at wala but i did enjoy their company. might juz consider to hang out more with them? we left wala after the 2nd set cuz they both had to work early. sighhh... had to leave shirlyn abruptly which doesn't happen much. heh.

im beginning to miss her.. alot. piece of crap. is it juz wishful thinking on my part? *sigh* life is sucha bitch and love feels so outta reach... dammit!

am -bored-

so here i am on a Sunday evening sitting in front of my comp, staying home to heal a bruise that my carnivorous chum gave to me. and also because i have a massive pimple brewing on my forehead, its hideous i dare not go out. haha

anyways i was juz telling a couple of friends yesterday of a very weird dream that i had. about how i was in hkg and then this friend came and told me that she had been single since she broke up with her bf in june last year.. and then we started kissing. hahaa how outrageous is that!

i was juz chatting with moo moo awhile ago and see what she drew. her trademark cow. i miss her! arrrgghhhhhh..
so my weekly sunday entries, how can i not blog about wala? yes i was there again last night and before belle gets to tell this story i better fess up myself. so we were sitting at the table between the stairs and the stage, not a very good table to be seated at yesterday cuz we were like blocking the passageway through to the stage. and anyways i decided not to let anyone through and belle was saying what if shirlyn wants to pass through then i was like if its her i'll get up then and before i knew it shirlyn was behind me shouting 'excuse me, excuse me!' and it caught me by surprise and i jumped out from my seat. yes i really jumped. BAH. *rolls eyes* oh and belle nearly wanted to kill herself cuz she sent a sms to the wrong person and of all people... haha i shan't even name names. yea i know how it feels.. 'i cant imagine i juz outdid myself again!' it juz gets better huh.. *grins*

10 days to tokyo... i feel so unprepared!

another one bites the dust!

i really wanna go watch the queen musical, we will rock you. talked about it with gollaba & panahon last evening and we were supposed to go get the tix today but it totally slipped my mind! will do it tomorrow then or at the rate i procrastinate the run will end and i'd never be able to catch it untill who knows when.

oh and i think i jinxed myself. i was juz telling a friend yesterday that i was bored at work and it finally seems like its slowing down at work and then today i was like hit by a tornado or something. oh man... and the fat one got to me again. duds and gg was pissed with him too. still dont understand how a person like him can exist. and then i began to wonder if i annoy people so much too to the extent that they detest me? oh dear... that'd really be bad i'd really be upset. therefore i repeat myself again i dont understand why a person like him can exist and that he doesnt feel upset that he's upsetting everyone else around him?

and im so going to japan. woooohooo actually im not really excited to go japan but im merely excited for the fact that im going somewhere. anywhere out of sg is good. juz need a break. and i cant believe everything was done so last minute. like no planning and anything, juz like up and go. so 2 weeks later im gone... yeeeeeee haa! gotta watch out for the damage it does to my save-up-for-US fund though. ultimately my dream is still to go US or UK within this year. then i'll need to go through a toughie of whether its US or UK i'll be heading too.... dilemma.

highly disturbing friday..

heard the most shocking piece of news early in the morning.. i think its by far the most shocking since the start of the year? or maybe it can even beat all the rest to be the most shocking of all? i think i shan't elaborate any further on wad happened because it'd be easy to guess who the individual is. ppl who are close to me... like chums and bestie, u all know. as for the rest u all dont have to know. -_-

sigh... i feel all the effort i made to pull u back to society cum reality has all gone to waste. to begin with, why did i even bother? im no saint. i guess i just didnt have the heart to see u goin on wasting ur life. there was really so much more in store for u. how could i make u see? this is the ultimatum whereby i can say ur life is really gonna be in the dumps. its about time i smarten up and leave u alone. u dont have to be sorry nor do u need to give me any answers. its really not necessary. i wish u a good life ahead.. although i highly doubt it may be any good.

went to ikea juz now... the damn place is like partially under renovation and there's really nothing much. ended up having meatballs and its prob the 1st time i went to ikea and didnt end up with a whole load of junk that i dont need (impulsive buying). ohh also swung by to queensway and got me a new pair of glasses. finally after how zachy killed my old pair. alrights i shld head for dinner and then to wala to see one of my fav girls. *grins*

had a long and painful week at work.. struggling to the next..

think i had less than 20hrs of sleep combined from mon-fri.. worked till almost 3am everyday. its been really long and painful. how long more can we survive like that? when boss is not around we're always being bullied.. i have a new superior who thinks he was hired to be our saviour. all i can say is i WILL use him to try and improve things.. like why not? i've got nothing to lose and everything to gain anyways. we shall see what happens..

oh and the highlight this week will be meeting up with my favourite guest.. but its a pity she was sooooo busy and had to leave abruptly on fri when we had our drinks/dinner date set on saturday. damn. i wonder if she'd ever make it back cuz very soon she'd be posted to be based in London. and i didnt even make it to go Hkg and visit her. sighs. London will be too expensive for me to head to unless she throws in the air tix too on top of lodging and food? haha

and so i ended back at wala wala last night. had belle, allyssa, terry and duds.. but i think the 3 girls were bored cuz they didnt quite like the 'unxpected' kinda music. hee. sorry but i really adore shirlyn! :P

think next week will be slower for me cuz i hardly have any groups in-house which explains the 30% occupancy on Friday.. yikes. sure kenna shot again. oh wells isnt that life? u win some, u lose some? and after all the trouble/problems i went throught the past week i think i'd rather i have no groups and be doing nothing. either way i die. u peeps who work with me, im sure u know what i mean... *yawns*

batam easter getaway..

so i was away from fri-sun to batam.. cheap and lousy recreation. haha. the whole frickin resort and ferries and everything else were packed with singaporeans. so much for trying to get away from s'pore and we still end up having to see them all over the place. but had a rather relaxing time overall.. lazing by the poolside reading my book, swimming, going to the spa..

i even made some friends there. was sitting by the poolside reading my book and this guy swam close to me and started talking.. 'interesting book huh?' cuz i was glued to it for a good hour or so? ended up he was from Iran.. and amidst all the Iranians groups that are giving me headaches at work, here i was making a friend with one of them. how ironic. haha. anyways turned out he's a very nice guy (i know we shouldn't be making such judgements after the 1st meeting) but he invited us for dinner and we chatted quite abit, found out quite alot abt him and his country? my knowledge of them was zilch before i met him. hahaha. so anyways the beauty of the whole thing was he paid for dinner and drinks *yay* i saved some money and its quite a fair bit wor. he'll be popping by in sg before heading back home so we might still meet again cuz he stays at MM, wanna bring biz to CCS but MM is really chargin much lesser for more than we can offer. haha :x
its funny.. the previous time i went to batam i made a friend there too and he too paid for an expensive dinner. im beginning to think batam is a fun place to go too... lol

bloody fricking headache..

been having a headache since i left work on sat morning.. sucks. anyways i cldnt believe i stayed at work till 6am. cleared damn alot of work.. and helmi was nice and stayed with me from abt 5-6am cuz he thought i'd be scared being in the office alone? silly... i went home and i still cld stay awake to watch like 2 episodes of sex and the city before i started dozing off. so i went to bed at around 8am and got up at around 3pm?

fellow emo elmo asked if i wanted to go to wala's and well there's where we ended up. i think of all the times i've been to wala's, yesterday was the weirdest crowd i've ever encountered. there were cam whores (there they were taking pics non-stop with the constant flashes of light blinding us), bar-top dancer wannabe --> and there was this other table of ppl watching her and trying to imitate her, a guy in a black and white scarf whom i saw last wk (wearing the exact same ugly scarf) who apparently tried to imitate shirlyn singing and the table in front of us had a fat guy who tried to be funny and started shaking his butt or was he trying to dance, oh and at his table there was also this middle-aged lady who every now and then tried to sneak peeks at bestie? *faints* bestie, i think its u... its becuz of u thats why there were such weird ppl ard??! its never happened before! haha damn funny la!

today, bro left zachary at our place for a few hrs cuz he needed to go out to run some errands. that cute lil piece of crap. adore him to bits. well as usual he messed up the whole place. mum and i brought him to the playground.. he's so cute. he went around saying hi to all the uncles & aunties and tried to play with the rest of the kids. he's really well-behaved. im impressed how my bro and sis-in-law disciplined him so well. after that went to my aunt's for dinner cuz it was my grandma's 77th birthday. so cool... she's still so healthy and happy. i wish for her to be like that for many many many more years to come! my aunt bought this choco cake that tastes something like choco royal hazelnut crunch but it was wayyyyyy too sweet. sugar overdose... *dies* lol

im losing my sanity..

i got really upset this morning while at work. found out some piece of shit went directly against my instructions and i had to find it out myself. all hell broke loose and i lost it. i sent out an email which i thought was rather tame but thereafter i got comments that it was a tad too harsh? i think i've really gotten to the point where i think 'enough is enough'.. why should i tolerate all this kinda nonsense and 'go down on my knees and face the music' from the clients. maybe someday we shall pass the buck over and then they'd realise its really no fun. till then.. more suffering.

scary monday.

started off the day with a morning meeting of many people being blasted at... it was a darn scary scenario. kinda like a domino effect thingy. boss finds an innocent individual to spark off the anger and she goes into a killing rampage thereafter. thank goodness i escaped unscath.. *phew* so the whole day i was wary of the ground i was treading on, didnt wanna step on a mine and blast myself into 'ritz' bitz. left work on the dot to escape being 'killed'.

while waiting for taxidoor we bumped into ed and ah tee. ah tee said something funny that i juz had to blog it down... ah tee, u pulled it off SUPERBLY! u deserve an award or something man... anyways i was asking him how come a friend didnt get laid while they were on holiday together and he replied something like that with a straight face...

"she felt like she was participating in a tupperware competition, to see who was the tightest.."

it took a while to register and when it finally did, we all broke into laughter. only u can come up with such shit but it was all done in the name of good fun. :o)

friday was a rubbishy day, saturday was cool, sunday kinda sucked..

i think the blog title says it all? chum, wasn't at work on thurs and fri. hope your eye is urmm good again? i needed to leave the office on time on friday cuz i had somewhere to go and that fat blob had to make me clear his nonsense while he happily went for dinner with his clients. really a fat useless bastard. shall not go into that again... so i left the office slightly later then i should have but i still got to meet my friend in time cuz she was kinda late too. it was a nice and quiet night (albeit the lousy sound system) we had over some drinks. hey emo bestie.. i like hanging with u. haha

saturday.. went for a haircut at jason's and i look like a little ball now. and when i told belle she was like 'aww.. how cute!' duh! and she said she has a helmet too.. lol poor us. went to watch meet the spartans which is absolutely dumb. *dies* cant believe its even stupider than scary movies... thereafter of cuz i went to wala's.. shirlyn's still not feeling well and coughing. poor girl. but she still sang well.

sunday.. was supposed to have a site inspection with JTB at 1530hrs and they decided to call me at 1300hrs to say they would like to make it earlier cuz they're already in the area so i confidently told them 1400hrs. so i had to rush down to work by cab and i only got there around 1420hrs. oops i forgot that the idiotic IT fair was still on for today. anyways i was really apologetic when i got there but it seemed like they were enjoying their drinks at lobby lounge. cheapos. and the whole site was done in less than 20mins. bloody waste of my sunday to go back to work. ended up clearing abit of work and headed off to have some coffee with nickole and frankie. i miss those days we used to hang out after work... oh wells... life moves on.. even tho i hope time would standstill now so that i dont have to go back to work tomorrow! arghhhhhhh..

this sucks..

i've never seen chums in sucha foul mood before. it scares me... alot. its as if she were about to chew off someone's head? i dont wanna be that someone who gets her head chewed off... so i stayed out of her way as much as i could but being noisy me it didnt work very well. im sorry if i still got on your nerves even though the signs were shouting 'LEAVE ME ALONE!' as u can see i dont read signs very well but i like to think of myself as quite smart when it comes to reading road signs tho.

i dunno wad i can do to cheer u up but it upsets me to see u like that also. i hope u see this and by then u're feeling a teeny weeny bit betta then juz now? if there's one thing i can do to make u feel betta pls do let me know and i'll try my best to...

makes me wonder.. am i partially/fully the cause of u being in sucha foul mood thats why u didnt wanna talk to me too? well if i am.. im sorry. i didnt mean to... make u upset. i know to a certain extent u're not pleased that i didnt manage to leave and u havent been wanting to talk abt it because it didnt make me feel good. i never thought it wld in turn consume u and made u this scary person.. i really didnt wish for things to take the sudden turn and throw me off balance. im really at a loss myself. im juz passing each day as it comes...

im really sorry..

sex and the city

watched a whole season of sex and the city at von's place.. from the previous visit till yday and we completed the whole of season 6 i think. i like that show. never really got down to watching it before but its like once u start u can stop. im gonna get me dad to buy me the whole set of sex and the city and queer as folk dvds... queer as folk is another show i've always wanted to watch but never got a chance to so who cares if it burns a hole in dad's pocket... la la la!i cldnt care less! ha!

here are some phrases i came across from sex and the city.. some are cute, some make sense and some are juz too sex-inclined?! haha

"You can't be friends with a squirrel! A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit." -Carrie

"Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore; if it's bad, you just had sex with an ex." -Samantha

"Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me." -Samantha (chum, u used something similar to this on me before right??)

"Practically all the relationships I know are based on a foundation of lies and mutually accepted delusion." -Samantha

oh of course one of the draws to watching sex and the city is jason lewis, he's really cute! and someone told me to go US and find someone like him. and my reply was i will, go to US and get acquainted to a guy (hopefully someone that looks 1/10 of jason lewis) and never come back here. hahaha *drools* i might juz turn damn straight if i can get my hands on someone so *swoons* fucking good looking! hubba hubba.... lol

i don't really fancy jogging..

so gf was telling me she planned to go jogging.. and taxidoor was like trying to plan bring her to west coast to jog? like huh i cant imagine... u mean he actually planned to drive there and job and drive home? sounds weird to me.. why can't u juz jog in the vicinity? petrol is not cheap! but anyhows i juz kept quiet... didnt wanna get myself into taxidoor's bad books. wont do me any good. heehee

so anyways after hearing all that talk how can u not get inspired to go for a jog yourself? so i got home grabbed some bread to munch on cuz i was STARVING and changed into my joggin attire... off i went together with my mp3 player to keep me entertained. so i didnt know where to head towards... i've abt tried every possible route around my area so my legs juz brought me towards ghim moh and i didnt wanna contest where my legs wanted to go cuz i needed it to bring me back home. was jogging then i suddenly remembered i dont like to jog. like yucks. its like the most boring exercise ever. its even worse to be jogging on a treadmill. gosh. can never figure out how come ppl enjoy jogging... yes i know ppl who actually REALLY do enjoy it. eeeeeeeks freeeeeeeeeaks! oh btw after i got back from my jog i decided to text gf and ask her if she brokea leg or something but ended up she didnt go jogging at all.. *rolls eyes to high heavens* but i saw that coming la... lol

now i feel bad for leaving my fellow girl in the office alone to fend for herself. im sorry but i really didnt feel like staying back in the office today. in fact i dont feel like it everyday but im being forced to cuz of the amount of work we have and no im not comparing the amount of work i have as to yours because i know yours is MASSIVE. u really need to start speaking up for yourself. if you don't no one will know you're suffering and you'll just have to bear with it in silence... you gotta wise up, girl....

past week sucks..

its been alot of hard work the past week... many late nights spent in the office. how long more must this go on for? from the looks of it, its gonna be like that till the day i leave. and now the question is when will i finally be able to leave? im neither here nor there now.. yes i am very disappointed in myself that i wasnt able to pull it off. and i dont need anyone of u rubbing it in. i feel bad enough as it is.

am glad that the unxpected is back in action at wala's after the loooooooooong cny break. they totally rawked last night! and of course i enjoyed it with the company of my comfort drink... mr kil-kenny. :P though i started to get sleepy sometime in btwn the sets but i got thru the very end where they always do an oldie mouldie song like a blast from the past kinda thing, something that the band has never played rehearsed together on.. it was a really weird song, something really out of the world. the song had an odd melody and some lyrics about Sally and Alice.... and 'who the fuck is Alice'??!! like huh... belle and i were totally lost and so the moment they finish we juz upped and left. ha. oh and i was really upset with my gf last night. texted her and she IGNORED me! i was really upset..... hmpfs!

alrights... im really bored now. shall wait for the sun to go down slightly and i'll go for my once-a-week jog.. not sure if it helps much after all the junk i eat for the entire week but at least im making an effort? ha nice try huh............. toodles~

P.S. I Love You..

finally got to watch the show.. i've been waiting and wanting to watch it since nov/dec last yr cuz i read about it on some magazine. well who's surprised they only decided to hold it back to valentine's to air it? bleh! i really liked the show! im a sucker for such shows... i cried so much i was shy to leave the theatre. i felt so much for 'Holly', my heart ached for her. *sniffs & sigh* i wonder i'll ever find someone who loves me so much that until when they die they do such things for me? i mean not that i want them to die but yea u get me, don't cha?

so after the movie, we decided to get out of town because it was too crowded for our comfort. we hate crowds. decided to find a quiet place to sit down and have a couple of beers while we talk. ended up in this nice bar at ann siang hill. nice and quiet place to chill but im guessing the bar wont last for much longer. then again along that stretch there's many more bars and restaurants to venture on to. talked alot and i realised we've drifted very far apart all this time. i hope u buck up and move on.. think i've done all i can to help u back on ur feet, the rest is all up to u now.

after ann siang hill we moved on to robertson quay. that place used to only have a few restaurants and bars now like at least 10-20 others have spruced out of no where. mainly jap restaurants. settled for a beer place which served pizzas and finger food, wasnt all too bad cuz they had kilkenny! i mean no matter how bad the food was there's kilkenny so all is fine still! but the food wasnt all that bad. im juz tryin to praise the existence of kilkenny. lol. so we juz sat there and talked/drank so much more until the sleepiness sank in and we decided to call it a day.

'Now being without you takes a lot of getting used to
I should learn to leave with it..

You're a hard habit to break'

i think i've finally done it...

cny visiting...

as usual, cny is always a very boring and sickening time for me. during the past years i cld always get outta it cuz i was 'conveniently' doing shift work and all i had to go for were the meals and scoots i was outta there.. dont need to wayang and entertain the annoying ppl we call relatives. but this yr wasnt half as bad i thought it'd be. the relatives decided to go slow on me this yr? or maybe cuz i had this 'u betta not start questioning me abt the shit im trying to avoid or i'll chew ur head off' face. lol. yea so it was all good... and all the attention was on lil zachary. phew.

oh then another thing i muz touch on... why is it that my ang pow collection is decreasing year by year?? my mum came up with her conclusion that at my age i shouldnt be collecting ang pows but giving them out instead. but crap la im not married so i am entitled to collect ang pows wad! and i deserve more too! like ppl who are left on the shelf dont we deserve some sympathy and given more $ to tide them over this difficult period where we have to face all the lovey dovey families and their oh-so-cute children (yes, sarcasm intended)?!

anyways on 初二 belle, von and i decided to meet up for dinner. we really had enough of the boring visiting.. juz sitting there or getting into senseless conversations juz becuz we happened to be sitting next to each other (in btwn we'd be staring at the walls cuz we ran out of stuff to talk abt and its not like i really wanna talk). either that or i'd be busy munching away trying to look preoccupied so that they'll juz leave me alone. call me anti-social but im not able to be sociable and get myself stuck in a conversation i dont wanna be involved in(if u know what i mean). so anyways back to the outing with the girls... so belle had to start a charitable organisation called 'save the lonely people'.. lol shan't elaborate on that here. and then we ended up at jack's place having our juicy steaks cuz it was one of those days i felt like having a steak and it really doesnt come very often. oh oh and while we were eating the fireworks came on. didnt expect it but we had a rather good view from the restaurant. we didnt wanna go back yet after dinner so we decided to drive ard and we ended up at kallang waterfront where the stretch of restaurants are. we bgt a few beers and had a good time chatting as always. i love my girlies!

初三 i spent the whole day at home watching telly.. pure bliss.

初四 went over to my aunt's place today cuz 1 of my cousin's came back from korea so we decided to get together. she's been away for 2 years but came back every now and then. so i heard she's back till sept and then moving to somewhere else again but she hasnt quite decided where. at times i wish i cld be like here. give up everything for her passion and even though she doesnt earn much but at least she enjoys wad she's doing. i mean isnt that wad life is all abt? doing things that u enjoy.. i guess as long as u earn enough to make ends meet, it beats having a job u hate yet earn alot and in turn u do stuff with the money u make to try and cheer urself up? im not sure if im making sense here but yea... try deciphering it in ur own way.

now im horribly upset cuz i have to go back to sucky work in a few hours time... why does time have to pass by so quickly when i dont have to work and it seems to last eons when im waiting for work to end??!! crap! utterly crap!!!!!

Happy New Year!~~

Happy New Year!

Contradicting as this may sound.. May the year of the "rat" be free of rodents in our lives. I'm sure u all know what i mean and what i'm driving at...

May health and wealth be with us!

high tension, highly disturbed..

Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace

Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm scared
I'm not prepared

I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
And no one cares

I'm my own worst enemy

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

Goddddddd!!!!

Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery

I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say

Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong
With me

"Given Up - Linkin Park"

i failed in my attempt. im not surprised, im juz not equipped to be able to pit myself against someone in her own territory. for the record, u weren't the only one losing sleep over this. i'll stay... but the question again is for how long? my heart is no longer there. i know not who i can trust anymore. friends or foe, i cant differentiate anymore. best is i juz keep really quiet and hope this nagging problem goes away. well... will it ever?