annoyed, irritated and frustrated.

i had a damn terrible day at work today. its unbelievable how much crap i was put thru. feel my tolerance level has gone up by leaps and bounds. given the past i'd be slamming anything i get get my hands on & spewing vulgarities like how an athelete runs a marathon.

i simply detest my job now. i refuse to accept y i have to pick up after this particular individual. im not paid to, its not within my job descrip to. its juz not fair and when i say its not fair dun gimme the crap that nothing in this world is fair. thats fucking bull! I DONT BUY IT!

i wanna leave but with AWS juz ard the corner, its like i can almost reach it if i juz stretched, its juz not worth it to leave at this point. and if i can stay to get AWS then bonus will also come really soon.. *sigh* i'd juz have to grit my teeth and hang in there... i feel like crying, this is really really bad.

Chummy can we really start planning towards leaving? pleaseeeeeeeee? take it as im begging u? -_-

havent been sleeping well..

the bouts of insomnia is slowly creeping back into my life. been a long while but they decided to revisit me? dont feel tired even into the wee hours of the morning but when its abt time to get up for work i feel like i'd do anything to juz laze for another 5mins in bed. ok maybe the waking up part has nothing to do with the insomnia but instead that i dread work that much. *sighs*

should i rely on pills, alcohol or drugs(if i can get my hands on any that is). ahhh wells life's a bitch, and then i die.

'if heaven calls, i'm coming too
just like you said, you leave my life, i'm better off dead

now the drugs don't work
they just make me worse
but i know i'll see your face again...'

oh juz to clarify things to edz and vonz, im no poet. most of the stuff that i post on my blogs are either song lyrics or stuff written by other ppl. i read alot into songs and stuff and dunno why recently everything i come across seems to be so meaningful or maybe its juz me being sensitive and emotional..

rainy monday

havent been feelin really good past few days. can feel like im almost gonna fall very sick but am still battling it with the medicine i pop before headin off to bed every night.

doesnt really help that chums is feeling down too. im kinda upset that there's nothing much i can do to bring her out of what she's feelin right now. i really feel for her. i've gotten to a point whereby i feel sad when she's sad too. so emo right? chums.. thats how much u mean to me wor. i seldom ever feel so much for others. lol

'Smile though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.

Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness.
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.

That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile'

mildly irritated..

'at least you were frank about it now. thanks.'

whats that supposed to mean? i was never hiding anything to begin with. juz cuz somewhere along the way u picked up the wrong signals and chose to believe things ur way doesnt mean its my fault right? come on.. dont be so petty.

'We read the world wrong and say that it deceives us.'

nothing much, havent done much and its back to work tmr. dammitz.

the blog title says it all.. dun have much to blog abt nowadays also. life is dull and boring. its sleep, work, eat and occasionally drink. thats abt all.

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

coming down with a cold

didn't sleep well last night becuz i was coughing the whole night. woke up this morning with my throat feeling super uncomfortable. coughed a big blob of phlegm out. eeeewwwwwwww. then my nose feels runny, throat feels sore and i feel like im coming down with a fever. hate getting sick. esp when i know that taking a day off is juz gonna kill me with more work when i eventually go back to my little messy corner. *sigh*

had dinner with chums, taxidoor and irene becuz irene's date cancelled on her and she juz happened to ask us if we were available for dinner and chum's still owed her a treat for her bday? so i juz happily tagged along. thanks irene for initiating the dinner, thanks chummy for letting me tag along for the free dinner and the ride home, thanks taxidoor for paying for the dinner? hahaha

'I wanted a perfect ending. now i've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.'

sleepy days..

this is gonna be a short one because im feeling really tired. juz swung by to check on my emails and thought at the same time i'd juz put something down here. past few days i've juz been feelin really lethargic. the days seem to draggggg on while at work. im getting really sick of it. i dont think i've ever been so sick of work before. how???! how am i gonna survive till i get my fricking well-deserved bonus!!

these days im juz not doing much anymore. still tryin to find the motivation to cut down on my food and ciggie intake. *sigh* alright i shall head off to bed now or it'd juz be another fucking draggy day at work tmr... dammitz.

'Someone to love
Someone to touch
Someone to hold
Someone to know
Someone to trust'

is it that hard to find someone that fulfils the above and be reciprocal towards it?